My little thoughts…

Pernah ga elo ngerasa elo berusaha berbuat sebaik yang elo bisa, tapi hasilnya mungkin ga bisa nyenengin orang lain ato beda ama yang mereka harapkan. Mungkin ada saatnya juga elo ga bermaksud jahat tapi mungkin orang laen salah paham dan menjudge elo jahat.. Gua berpikir mungkin hal ini bakal sering terjadi ketika kita membaur di masyarakat, karena orang-orang yang kita temuin mungkin ga ngerti cara berpikir, motif, maupun latar belakang kita  seperti juga kita terhadap mereka. Walaupun ketika kita ngalamin hal-hal seperti ini kita bakal merasa mereka ga berhak men"judge" diri kita and berpikir negatif, tapi kadang kita tanpa sadar juga ngelakuin hal itu. Manusiawi… walau kita tau.. men"judge" dan berpikir negatif bakal ngelukain orang lain (bukan berarti hal itu benar sih n berat hukuman untuk orang yang menghakimi orang lain katanya…).

Biasanya semakin sulit kehidupan dan lingkungan sekitar semakin tinggi kadar pertahanan diri kita yang mungkin kita sikapi dengan berpikir akan kemungkinan terburuk, bahkan soal teman ato situasi yang kita hadapi. Terus hasilnya hal yang sebenernya ga buruk malah jadi terjadi karena sikap kita menuntun kita kesana.. Menyedihkan…

Gua kepikiran… Dua taun yang lalu gua nemuin kata2 yang bagus banget soal hal ini.Ketika gua sempet berpikir untuk menyerah berusaha berbuat baik untuk orang-orang tertentu, orang-orang tertentu bakal ngomongin ato "negative thinking" apapun yang orang-orang lakuin buat mereka. Orang-orang ini mungkin udah terbiasa dengan kondisi seperti itu, dan mendarah daging. Reaksi yang paling mudah diambil umumnya mengacuhkan n menjauhi. Gua nemuin kata-kata yang bagus banget di ruang panitia seminar kampus…

Apabila engkau jujur dan terbuka, orang lain mungkin akan menipumu. Tetapi tetaplah bersikap jujur dan terbuka setiap saat.

Apabila engkau sukses, engkau mungkin akan mempunyai musuh dan teman-temanmu iri hati atau cemburu. Tetapi teruskanlah kesuksesanmu itu.

Apabila engkau berbuat baik, orang lain mungkin akan berprasangka bahwa ada maksud-maksud buruk di balik perbuatan baik yang kau lakukan itu. Tetapi tetaplah berbuat baik.

Kebaikan yang kau lakukan hari ini, mungkin besok dilupakan orang. Tetapi teruslah berbuat baik.

Apabila engkau menemukan kedamaian dan kebahagiaan di dalam hati, orang lain mungkin akan iri hati kepadamu. Tetapi tetaplah berbahagia.

Apa yang telah engkau bangun selama bertahun-tahun dapat dihancurkan oleh orang lain dalam satu malam saja. Tetapi janganlah berhenti dan tetaplah membangun.

Berikan yang terbaik dari apa yang kau miliki dan itu mungkin tidak akan pernah cukup. Tetapi tetaplah berikan yang terbaik.

Karena semua pada akhirnya bukan antara engkau dan mereka, tapi antara engkau dengan Dia.

Kata2 ini dikutip dari perkataan Mother Teresa yang membantu dan menyemangati, kadang ketika salah paham, iri hati, dan hal buruk terjadi… Lingkungan sekitar yang ga mendukung dan terasa ga adil, mungkin perkataan ini bisa ngebantu kita melihat dari perspektif lain.. I hope this will help u.. like it helps me.. GBU…

Fanatics will give a thougth without any reason, Wise men trying to give thougth with a reason.

Fanatics when they have the reason they afraid to examine and discuss about it deeply, Wise men would love to discuss about it coz what they seek is truth not who is the right one.

Fanatics trying to find as much as possible comments or thought that can support their opinion even it seems ridiculous, Wise men trying to find comments or thought to examine their opinion.

Fanatics trying to debate with you when they’re pressed they will stick with their own thought and become angry or feels u’re attacking them. Wise men trying to discuss with you when they’re pressed they will agree with u or trying to think about their opinion once more.

Fanatics think that if their thought is right then yours is the wrong one, Wise men think that if their thought is right maybe yours also the right one.

Fanatics that proven to be wrong can do exactly the same as they disagree before then trying to forget or cover it, Wise men that proven to be wrong admit that they was wrong and thank you for direct them to right one.

Fanatics think that it is necessary to hurt others feeling by judging at your preferences (but very angry when u attack them back), Wise men trying to respect others preferences.

Fanatics trying to make people to see from their point of view but refuse to do look from others, Wise men trying to look at others first before asking you to see from their point of view.

Fanatics usually judging the items are good or not depend on how they like it, Wise men trying to not judge the items and see the positive thing from each of them.

Fanatics judge things from who do it whether they hate and envy the person or they love him. Wise men try to not judge the things or the person as well.

Fanatics usually adverse others action or hobby bcoz they can’t or don’t wanna do it. Wise men try to respect others whether they can’t or don’t wanna do it.

Fanatics never do the things or having the things or being in any places but they can judge it extremely, Wise trying to do the things or having the things or being in the places then giving some opinion without trying to judge.

Fanatics sometime they’re so weak inside so they try to build a thick wall to stand for their opinion by critize other people and attacking other people first bcoz they’re afraid and curious..

By writing all this doesn’t mean i’m wise.. still far far away i realize… Nobody is that wise and can judge himself wise enough..

"A wise man has no extensive knowledge; He who has extensive knowledge is not a wise man." [Lao-tzu, "Tao te Ching," c.550 B.C.E.]

But we can try to become wiser and not hurting others by being fanatics.. Being wise doesn’t mean u’re always right (coz that gonna be GOD’s part) but trying to find the truth not justification.

Thinking about what i’ve been through this few months… I realize that actually i’m trying to get out from my comfort zone. All this time i’m always looking back and tell myself "it’s OK u have all the guarantee behind u"

If u failed, u can just fly back and run your family business…

If u failed, it still not too late go and run ur previous interior company…

If u failed, u just go home and there’s gonna be a lot of project waiting for u…

If u failed, u still can go back to ur happy and comfort life behind u…

This "if" philosophy make my passion down and everyday i can’t fight the problems with all i have.

The first problem i’ve encounter is the worst case i think for everyone who lives far from their family for the first time. The exploitation of everything u have —u’re skill, strength, health, time, and the worst is u’re life— u can not even remember what day is today… saturday? sunday? monday? their all the same.. you go out when the sun just coming out and u still freezing… and go home without seeing him anymore… and there’s one time when i went home.. the sun almost rise again.. The boss is so demanding, u’re like a machine.. He’s gonna try to see how much he can get from u, don’t care bout u actually, but pretending he is…and how obvious that is.. Maybe bcoz he’s very busy and start to turn to Original Chinese (how high u’re studying… sometimes some Chinese just going to be money oriented..The difference just gonna be how clever they cover it) Everytime we go for lunch, all my college was complaing on and on., they made me feel even worse.. (But i can understand, who is not gonna complain anyway haha) There is something i admire from them, it was how they can survived there..

So imagine u’re far far away for the first time in your life (with all the comfortable life, u already have behind you) It was the first time u’re become an employee when all this time u’re a boss n your work is like it was in hell… Of course that only my work life… but what else do i have anyway? social life? vacation? hang out time? great… dream on…

Although all the situation seems give me right to keep complaining and blame all the thing to the company.. Telling everyone that i’m not responsible for all this thing, i have the right for being angry and frustated and sarcastic even being someone who is very unfriendly and self-oriented. I take the wrong respons, coz between the the stimulus and respons i have the chance to choose.. I read this few years ago and still doing the wrong choice (it always easier to go back to u’r old habits ).. So, i keep blaming all the things that happen to me.. I realize that eventhough the company is unfair and how your background is but how u react and how u feel is your responsibility..

It’s something that i still have to learn, coz it’s normal for some one to feel sad when they’re being disapointed; feel happy when someone care bout u… knowing that we have the chance to choose is not our habit. But deep inside our self.. we know… that we have that chance.. like Aristotle once have said "Nobody can make u unhappy unless u give them permission to do it"

Getting out from the comfort zone actually not as easy as people say, it depends how deep u’re already there and how strong u’re to get out… Some people even not realizing that they’re in the ir comfort zone, they thought they’re already get out by getting their own money, whether ur getting it ur self or from ur parents.. Sometimes even u’re getting ur own job without any help, it is still ur comfort zone coz all the situation is support u to get the job. There was a time when i feel proud of my self, i’m already earn my own money, even have my own company.. Now i realize, still not there, there’s a lot of difficulty that i still not known yet.. Maybe, we’re never really going out from our comfort zone. Coz we’re going from one comfort zone to another zone to make it comfort.. then.. there’s gonna be second comfort zone… and so on… actually what we call comfort is very relative. When a fisherman have to live like a farmer that means he has to be get out from his comfort zone, and the same thing happens when the farmer have to live like a fisherman.. So nobody can judge people.. "u’re still in u’re comfort zone, u’re too afraid to get out", i used to think like this b4.. but i realized when another people that better than me in the zone i’m struggling right now was told to do what i’ve already built previously. I’m so sure… that gonna be their uncomfort zone..

Sometimes getting out from our previous zone is a good thing, it makes u appreciate all the things that u already have.. The most important thing is whatever i’ve decided.. i learn that responsible for it no matter how ur background and situation taking u. So u better decided to do ur best, whatever the result is..

What u’re today is an outcome of your thoughts in the past..

So.. What u’re in the future is an outcome of your thoughts NOW..

must start… thinking…

Begitu lahir diajarin makan.. ngomong… jalan… (thx 2 you mom and dad) Terus dimasukin dah ke sekolah jadi pinter… hahaha..Bisa ngitung, baca, cari temen…

Tadaa… Sweet 17th… Bisa pacaran (padahal dari sebelum 17th udah bisa hahha).. Terus kuliah masa paling rawan, lu harus ngarahin idup padahal elo belom sebegitu yakin apa yang elo mao dalam idup (mengingat informasi juga terbatas) Udah lulus nih…

O my God turn out I can do it but I hate doing it..

Cukup berani ga untuk memilih jalan idup? Walau harus ninggalin segala prestige dan menghadapi pandangan masyarakat…

But.. if not now.. i can already picture myself in the future, maybe happy enough from the outside. Inside… it’s not the kind of life I’m dream of. . .

still… thinking…

"Buat apa idup?"

Kalo secara agama bisa dijawab macem2… Toh sebenernya dipikir2 fungsi agama: supaya orang ada artinya idup.. Seperti yang dikatakan filsuf Yunani " Kalo Tuhan ga ada, hidup adalah kesia-siaan".. Tapi… Gimana kalau agama hanya alat yang dibikin manusia untuk menuhin kebutuhan emosionalnya (seiiring evolusi yang membuat manusia makin pinter).. Manusia butuh percaya "there’s life after death" kalo ga dia bisa ngelakuin apa aja di dunia, ga ada hukuman abadi ini.. Keberadaan agama sendiri menjadi pertanyaan…

Nietzche berpendapat manusia jadi lemah ketika dia mengagungkan agama, karena masyarakat jadi mengalah dan ga bersaing. Seringkali ketika gagal berpikir : ini kehendak Tuhan, gua udah ngelakuin yang terbaik.. Tapi "terbaik" yang dimaksud berbeda kadang dengan "terbaik" ketika kita ngerasa itu tanggung jawab kita. Nietzche bilang juga kalo Manusia ga butuh Tuhan kalo dia kuat, karena lemah manusia tertentu sosok Tuhan… Gua coba tuh idup tanpa sosok Tuhan, cuma gua dan norma masyarakat. Simple rule: "Jangan ngelakuin hal2 yang elo ga pengen orang lakuin terhadap elo"… terus setelah beberapa lama.. pengen rasanya ketemu Nietzche terus nanya " Emang lu pikir manusia bisa seberapa kuat sehh?"

Because of the routine or spoiled… At the end i need some on to lean on. Eventhough i have a religion,there’s still a lot of question that come out from my mind, and fanatics will kill me hahaha.. Coz if u really think deeply… Maybe ur God not that perfect at all.. Untill now there are some principal questions that religions can not answer..

But there’s been a long time since i gave up searching (after several years searching) Coz u know what happen to Nietzche right? Let’s start from a little thing…

But the matter is u’re already alive, whether u want it or not (choosing the suicide will be a stupid way, considering u’re still not so sure about Life after death. If u’re already choose death and there is life after death.. OMG! what the…..) 

So… What can you do to make sure your life is not a waste.. whether there’s GOD or no GOD… What you can do to make ur existence valuable even a little? (or it’s better the world don’t have u, coz you don’t contribute anything, just wasting the resources)